Column #603 Whoopin’ darts ass in Paradise
Monday, August 9, 2021
Whoopin’ darts ass in Paradise!
Far be it from me to steer anyone away from a couple weeks of sun and fun in Puerto Vallarta – the place is amazing.
Pristine beaches etch endlessly into the sunset. Bikinis are everywhere. The nightlife runs into morning – the Dos Equis flow. And the food puts my favorite local Mexican haunt to shame.
But the darts scene is another story altogether. Except for the Lobby Bar of the Marriott Casa Magna (Paseo de la Marina, #5) by all appearances there isn’t a game to be found in the entire city. I imagine I am one of the few people who has ever wandered here looking for one!
Anyway, I found some “action” and in so doing was able to validate the theory that humidity adds years of life to a dartboard. Just a few warmup tosses had me dripping in sweat. I figure that’s the way the theory works – set up a board in the middle of one of the most humid places on the planet and, since no one can tolerate more than a few minutes at the line, the board will last forever.
This board couldn’t have been used a half-dozen times since the Battle of the Alamo.
I imagine this is also why the lighting was virtually non-existent – because the board was hung before electricity was invented.
So, I threw for a while in the heat and the dark. Munched some nachos and drank a few beers. Whatever I could do to keep cool. Trying to survive – or lying in wait. Perhaps a bit of both. I wasn’t sure myself.
Around 8:00 p.m., a long-haired kid named Luke sauntered in. Coke in hand. Wanted a game. Said he’d throw the bar darts. Asked how much money I had. Right.
So, we threw a few games of Cricket. Sweated. Sipped our drinks. Talked about nothing that made sense to me, at least not these days. Rock groups. He was into “sweet young things” on the beach.
A short 30 minutes later, we headed our separate ways. I, the victor, to a business dinner…
…and Luke, a tad humbled in defeat, to bed. When you’re eleven years old the sun sets early no matter where you are in the world.
From the Field,
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