Column #410 The Diary of an Unhealthy Dart Throwing Slug. Week Eight of Nine.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Column 410
The Diary of an Unhealthy Dart Throwing Slug. Week Eight of Nine.

March 22, 2011
I’m in the middle of the penultimate week of my nine-week odyssey through the world of fruits and vegetables and am on course to reach my goal weight. Not for a moment does this suggest that I actually know the meaning of penultimate.

As I sip warm lemon juice and peel another orange here at my computer I can’t help but reflect upon the impressive effort made by the Darts Around The World (DATW) crew to raise funds this past weekend for the Japanese players affected by the earthquake and tsunami. More than $5,000 has been raised, so far, thanks in large part to generous support from Paul Lim and Darts Live, Scotty Burnett and A-Z Darts, Terry Maness and Horizon Darts, Rob Heckman and Cosmo Darts, Big River Darts, Chris White, Rick Espinoza and three-time world champion John Part.

Sharon Butler and Anne “Sleepy” Kramer will be raising funds on the floor this weekend at the 25th Annual Virginia Beach Classic so the tally is certain to climb higher. Who can turn down these ladies? Turn down Sharon and the Bald Eagle will poop on your head. Turn down Anne and the always calm and mild mannered JK will punch you in the head (just like Doreen Berry).

Seriously, the Virginia Beach Classic, run superbly by Chris and Linda Bender, is one of the great tournaments on the circuit and I’m disappointed not to be able to make it this year. Chris is probably pleased however since last time we partnered we were whacked silly by some 80-year-old gramps and a child. We perform much better in the bar.

Good luck to everybody who is making the trip. Shoot well and give what you can.

March 23, 2011
Another day, another lemon drink, more oranges, fewer pounds… and no beer.

No beer for almost EIGHT WEEKS! It’s got to be a world record.

Have you tried throwing a dart without beer?

Next week when I am finished with this Whole Health Plan I may write my own plan and you can damn well be certain it will include beer.

It will be called the Ultimate Diet.

Or maybe that should be the Penultimate Diet?

Who the hell knows?

Now I must go eat another orange and puke.

From the Field,

Dartoid

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Dartoid
Author of the column that since 1995 has been featured by Bull’s Eye News, the American Darts Organization’s (ADO) Double Eagle and numerous other darts publications and websites around the globe.

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