Column #156 Dartoid Arrested in Zambia!

April 1, 2004
Column 156
Dartoid Arrested in Zambia!

URGENT!
This is Mike Broderick I maintain Paul Seigel’s web site – DartoidsWorld.com. I received a call from Paul’s wife, Marylou. Paul and a friend have been arrested in Africa — Zambia. They were caught trying to board a plane with a suitcase full endangered wood and some ivory. Marylou is trying to catch a flight to Lusaka in the morning to meet with officials at the American Embassy and try to see Paul. She said that they can hold him without charging him for up to ten days. After he is charged, they can hold him for 90 days before there is a trial. If he is convicted he could face as long as two years. Right now that’s all I know. It sounds like real mess. Just thought I’d let you know what’s up.

As I find out more, I’ll post it here.
(posted March 30th 2004)
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UPDATE!
Received a fax from Dartoid — See below!
(posted April 1st 2004)
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Mike!!!

I’ve fucked up bad!!! I’m in jail, man.

They released my friend, Jak. His dad’s with NBC so he has some pull, I guess. He’s going to try to get this faxed to Marylou so she can send it to you. I was able to call her last night so I’m assuming she’s told you what happened? She’s supposed to get here in a couple of days but I don’t think they’ll let her see me. I told her that when they let me call. Plus we can’t afford it. Let me tell you man, she’s gonna kick my ass!

The good news is that I got the stuff for the dart case guy — some pretty thick branches of ebony and a couple of really small tusks. The bad news is that it’s all been confiscated. The really bad news is that I have no idea what’s going to happen to me. They won’t tell me anything. They won’t let me talk to anybody, not even the guy from the Consulate. I guess that means you’re a webmaster without a web (except for that silly thing you do for Philly!). Ha. Maybe you could just post this? Scan it or something? They took my laptop and my wallet. And my darts!!! I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a while before I can write a real story again. That’ll probably make a lot of people happy! One thing’s for sure — if I ever get out of this cock-up I’ll be able to write a real killer!

I’d tell you that Zambia is a nice place but, frankly, from my current vantage point it pretty much sucks. Bastards! I did see Victoria Falls the other day, which was cool and kind of scary. I’d never seen it from the Zambian side. Jak and I crossed this hair-raising footbridge through swirling clouds of spray to a place called Knife Edge Point, a little island in the middle of the Zambezi River. We golfed on Monday and actually saw a giraffe in the distance while hunting for one of my balls.

I got to throw darts twice. There was a good set-up at the hotel we stayed at in Ndola – called the Mukuba. It’s near the airport there. Then the night before last I hooked up with some of the guys from the Zambian National Team at the Pamodzi Hotel here in Lusaka. Possibly they’d be helping me out now if I hadn’t whooped their sorry asses! They shoot in something called Zone 6 against teams from Zimbabwe, Lesotho, Malawi, Namibia, Swaziland and South Africa. I know from past travels that some of these teams (South Africa and Zimbabwe in particular) are quite good.

Obviously, Jak and I spent a lot of time at the markets. That’s what landed me at Kabwata Prison. You can buy almost anything for next to nothing. The stuff they took from me at the airport was worth a thousand bucks, easy. It cost me less than $50. But I was stupid. I knew it was stupid. They can pretty much do whatever they want with me. I know that. I knew that. Now I’m stuck here in this crappy-ass place eating something called “nashima” (kind of like mashed potatoes) and wondering what’s going to happen next.

Well, that’s it Mike. Not much else to say and don’t know when I’ll be able to write again. Marylou will keep you up-to-date. If I get to see her I’ll ask her to if I get to see her.

Man, did I mess up — so much for our plans to sell cases. I’m probably going to lose my job. One thing’s for DAMN sure – I’d be really fucking bummed if this whole thing wasn’t a damn April Fool’s joke.

From the Field,

Dartoid

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Dartoid
Author of the column that since 1995 has been featured by Bull’s Eye News, the American Darts Organization’s (ADO) Double Eagle and numerous other darts publications and websites around the globe.

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