I read with interest Dick Allix's recent column in Bull's Eye News -- his 128th -- and took note of his observation about how difficult it is for him, sometimes, to knock out a few paragraphs of fresh copy. I've read Allix's column for years and while I now know more than I could ever have imagined I'd know about the politics of darts, why Eric Bristow is God and how to stage a dance with Cliff Lazerenko, my mind still burns with questions about our sport that only someone of Dick's experience and pedigree can address. For example: If, after sixteen pints of Tenants Extra you stick the chalker in the ear, do you say "Sorry mate" and toddle off or do you sing "God Save the Queen", score a Yahtzee and order another jar? If you draw Prince Charles in a Luck of the Draw do you bow or curtsey before or after you tie the bloke down and inject him with a personality steroid?